Friday, March 28, 2008

Why I Love to Blog

Have you ever felt like you have more to say than anyone in their right mind would ever want to listen to?

As a child and up until I was about 19, I was an introvert; I really didn’t talk a whole lot. I think some would call it shyness, but I’m not convinced. I don’t remember being afraid of talking to people, just that I didn’t feel the need to. Ask my mother and she will tell you stories of my saying only a few words to convey things to her and that was only after she could tell by my face that something was going on and would then get me to tell her.

As I became a teenager I think it did morph into out and out shyness. Oddly enough, I think I probably came across as being stuck up more than just shy, but either way, I was not about to stick myself out there and start a conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I had my friends and I did talk to them, but it wasn’t very many.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit to you that there were little glimpses of the person I was to become. In 9th grade my best friend and I had English together. The teacher who taught it was also the Home Economics teacher so instead of there being desks to sit in, two people would sit at a table. Darn right we sat together…for a while! Until the teacher got tired of asking us to stop talking! Poor woman didn’t have a fighting chance with the two of us in there. My friend got moved all the way to the front of the class, but did that stop us from talking??? Yeah, right!

On June 23, 1992 I signed a few papers, put my hand over my heart and said “I DO” to Uncle Sam. By late that afternoon I was on an airplane bound for Recruit Training Command, Orlando, Florida. Somewhere in those 8 weeks I unconsciously decided that I was no longer going to be that shy person anymore. Boot camp was very liberating for me. I found this very strong and opinionated person inside waiting to come out.

It’s almost as if I had a Talking Switch that was in the Off position for the first 19 years of my life and boot camp was the trigger that clicked it On. Almost overnight I became this person who wasn’t afraid to assert herself. I wanted to talk to people; I wanted to be in on conversations; I wanted to be included. I HAD TO TALK!

I still get nervous and sweaty palmed when I start conversations with people I don’t know (or don’t know well), but I do it anyway. I feel compelled to do it. I want to do it. Here’s a funny fact about me; I enjoy giving talks in Sacrament meeting. I’m nervous just like everyone else, but I get the biggest thrill from being up there, which is probably why I don’t get asked to speak very often!! “You’re enjoying this way too much, Mathews!!”

Now, back to my original question: Have you ever felt like you have more to say than anyone in their right mind would ever want to listen to?

Me? Yes!!

With my newfound need to talk, it’s as if a floodgate has opened inside me; I have 19 years of not talking to make up for. Anyone who has stood outside a front door with me knows that I can talk for as long as you’ll let me! Yes, I am long winded!!

Enter Blogging. I’m relatively new to the whole blogging scene having only started about 5 months ago. At first I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to write about. Was it some sort of online journal? I soon figured out that I could write about anything and everything I ever wanted to. Holy cow! I finally had an outlet for all the random things I wanted to say; all the stories I wanted to tell.

I wish I could tell you that this has cured me of keeping you standing outside your front door. I don’t think that will ever be cured, but maybe it will cut down on the number of really random things I say while we’re standing there.

Blogging: It’s a good thing!!


Jeanette said...

Oh I love blogging too & I love reading your blog! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and life and keep up the good work.

Kathie said...

I too feel that way - I love to blog because it gives me an outlet for the things that keep bouncing around in my head and if don't want to read or listen than you don't have to - it is very liberating. I love your blog because your stories and assertiveness are some of the things I love most about you and so miss most!